Prayerfully Speaking

Hope from the Truths of God's Word

Love: Showing Honor to Your Husband

today I’m sharing more great marriage advice from
Four Days to a Forever Marriage: Choosing Love or Anger by Gary & Norma Smalley

Not showing love and honor is what creates a distance in your relationship. Some husbands and wives have built a high wall between them over the years. Each brick is an un-confessed and unforgiven act that closed the partner’s spirit a little more. Just as it took time to build the wall, it will also take time to tear it down.

One of the key ways a wife can honor her husband is to share in his interests—to get excited, at least to some extent, about the things that excite him.


…. Another way she honors me is that she has learned to validate the fact that I have an off-the-wall kind of personality, and she’s learning not to criticize or try to change who I am. I seem to come up with a new idea for something or other several times a day, for instance. In the past, as soon as I threw out one of these ideas, she would start shooting it down, pointing out what was wrong with it and all the reasons why it couldn’t possibly work. I felt as if my ideas were the clay pigeons at a skeet shoot, and she was the expert marksman! Now, however, she listens and lets me have the fun of stating my ideas without immediately jumping in and blowing them out of the sky.


For the first 25 years of our marriage, I didn’t realize that Gary thinks out loud—talking about an idea is the way he processes things. I thought that rather than just brainstorming, he was fully intending to do whatever he talked about, and it was up to me to figure out how to make it happen. Once I finally understood his personality and the way he handles ideas, I also realized I didn’t have to worry every time he came up with a new one. He wasn’t really going to overturn our lives completely every couple of hours! Part of how I’ve been able to honor Gary, then, was in learning enough about him to understand (better, at least) how he thinks. And that, in turn, made it possible for me to honor him by hearing out his ideas completely before offering any comments. We’re both a lot more fulfilled as a result.

– – – – a wife skilled at meeting her husband’s needs will become indispensable to him.

About Jennifer O. White

I’m a simple wife who has discovered God’s amazing gift of prayer. Here at Prayerfully Speaking I share my journey of unwrapping this gift. God invites us to ask Him, but His enemy works diligently to keep that from happening. I hope to offer you encouragement to believe God is ready to pour more into your life than you’ve ever imaged.

6 Replies

  1. This is us!!! What a great visual to show me what I am doing!! I do feel like if he says it I have to start making it happen !! I get it now! Great insight!!!!

    1. Jennifer White

      Melissa – thrilled this was helpful to you!

  2. I learned through prayer, trial and error that for my husband LOVE=RESPECT. It was a weird concept to grasp in the early days of our marriage. Sometime we think that cooking dinner or washing his clothes makes husbands feel loved but that’s far from it. If we don’t honor them with our respect it’s all for nothing.

    1. Jennifer White

      Saidah – you are so right! Love for a husband does = Respect! Thanks for stopping by and reading the post.

  3. Jeanna

    I really appreciate this post. I realize that I need to work harder at validating my husband’s interests. We get along pretty well, but there’s always room for improvement!

    1. Jennifer White

      Jeanna – I am getting better at it – but it’s taken a while. Keep up the effort!