Prayerfully Speaking

Hope from the Truths of God's Word

What Makes a Marriage Beautiful?

My sweet friend and co-worker, Katie Gumm, shared the following letter with me.  These words are a true gift to any marriage. In fact they were written as a wedding gift to Katie and her husband, Matt. It is one of two letters. The second one will be posted tomorrow.

A Reflection on the Attributes of a Beautiful Marriage
—by Judah Fansler

Everything God does beautifies marriage. Everything man does corrupts the bond God has made. If a union bends the knee to God, the Father will grant the beautiful marriage. If a union does nothing, man’s nature will destroy the beautiful gift.

Everything beautiful has a cost. Our forgiveness was wrought on a tree of suffering; our birth from hours of labor pains. The beautiful marriage has a cost, yet it cannot be earned. Years of self-sacrifice will not earn love, yet years of self-sacrifice are required for love. Love comes from God. Love makes a marriage beautiful. Love has a cost.

Traps of deception lay on either side of the narrow path to enduring love. The human mind creates lies, the world hurls deception from every side and the dark lord creates deceit day and night. Lies steal joy.

Pure honesty will clean any wound of darkness. Honesty is a pillar of strength, a vanguard that repels the clutches of lies that grow in the dark. Honesty is the friend of truth and truth will bind lovers together.

Truth often yearns for justice, yet no human can claim innocence. The time will come when selfishness, pride, lust, envy, or the like, will come from the human heart. Justice requires payment in return. A spouse often takes the side of justice only to play the hypocrite. Justice is only the friend of the innocent  and therefore remains aloof to all of mankind, yet with one exception.

The answer to the fault in a spouse is not justice (directly), but forgiveness. Forgiveness is the exclusive key that satisfies justice and reunites a wounded marriage. Forgiveness, however, can only be given by one who is first forgiven; yet justice will not grant forgiveness to the sinner without full compensation.

Someone outside of this horrible predicament fully compensated justice so that forgiveness would be available to anyone willing to humbly accept Him: Jesus the Christ. No one else could compensate justice because no one else is the friend of justice. Forgiveness is available to anyone seeking a beautiful marriage.

With forgiveness a marriage can be beautiful and endure the hardships of life. Yet a beautiful marriage that celebrates joy, honesty, truth, and love will not naturally appear to anyone. It is a gift of God granted to those on bended knee who first seek forgiveness. Yet even on bended knee beauty cannot be earned. It is the sovereign who grants every good gift and a beautiful marriage is a good gift.

When the time comes that you have studied the beautiful marriage and found its narrow way, let not your heart say, “See this thing I have created.” After years of sacrifice and enduring love a proud heart can instantly topple a beautiful marriage. No human hand can fashion a beautiful marriage; it is a gift of God.

May God grant you a beautiful marriage!

Judah and Jenni Fansler are high school sweethearts who celebrated their 13th wedding anniversary this past August. They currently make their home in the beautiful Missouri Ozarks with their four young children. Judah is an artist and designer who makes his living as Judah Creative Studio. Jenni is a busy homemaker and homeschooler, as well as the part-time accountant and full-time cheerleader for Judah Creative Studio.

About Jennifer O. White

I'm a simple wife who has discovered God's amazing gift of prayer. Here at Prayerfully Speaking I share my journey of unwrapping this gift. God invites us to ask Him, but His enemy works diligently to keep that from happening. I hope to offer you encouragement to believe God is ready to pour more into your life than you've ever imaged.

3 Replies

  1. What a wonderful gift, and two parts! I am looking forward to tomorrow’s post.

  2. Such a beautiful letter and wonderful advice!